Our plea for advice on how to build a force field has paid off. Engineers have responded from all over the planet Earth. The eleven dollars we collected in our GoFundMe campaign was just enough (with a coupon) to buy the parts for a force field fifty percent nuclear fusion and fifty percent quantum entanglement. If the Beacons of Night attempt to invade Alien Resort, they will be obliterated. The engineers want us to help them move an atom; Deadpan said it was the least he could do.
The above clipping is from the April 25, 2019 Mountain Ear newspaper (Nederland, Colorado). Following is the complete text (byline Edmund Itor):
If I could do it all over again, I would never become a newspaper editor.
Everything started a few months ago when I got an email from a guy who writes comics. Mr. Davis asked if I would like to publish his comics in the paper. I told him no, there isn’t any space. And there isn’t, because we have a lot of advertisers, and advertisements are what pay our bills.
But he kept pestering me, and his comics are funny, so I told him I would run one a week on a trial basis.
The comics are called Alien Resort. According to Mr. Davis, there really is a place across the sea called Alien Resort. Mr. Davis says he writes the scripts for the comics and sends them over the internet to the resort. There the comics are rehearsed and assembled by a team whose members arrived here from other planets and are now stranded on Earth.
Coy, the founder of Alien Resort, crash landed on Earth after a five-hundred-year interstellar flight. Plucky, a bossy spaceship captain and her sidekick, a comedian named Lmao, broke down while trying to rescue Coy. Deadpan, another funny guy, arrived later.
It turns out the resort is in a bit of turmoil. The radical organization Beacons of Night is claiming that since the extraterrestrials aren’t from Earth, they don’t have the right to work here, and therefore must stop making comics.
The island upon which the resort is situated is part of a kingdom, and the king has given his blessing for the four to live at the resort and make comics.
Since the situation at Alien Resort is currently in a stalemate, the Beacons of Night have begun other strategies to persuade its occupants to stop making comics.
The Beacons compiled a list of all the newspapers that are publishing Alien Resort comics and sent letters to the editors warning them not to publish any more comics.
I received such a letter about a month ago and tossed it in the trash. Last night somebody painted graffiti on our building with the Beacons’ slogan “Earthlings Unite”.
This is an example of what it’s like to be an editor. No matter what you do, somebody isn’t going to be happy.
One of the reporters asked me if I’m going to run an Alien Resort comic tomorrow. I told him no I’m not going to run a comic. I’m going to run two of them.
The developing story of Alien Resort continues on the Alien Resort website at https://alienresort.net.
The king who owns the island where Alien Resort is situated has offered to assist us in any way possible. If the Beacons of Night enter his territorial waters, he’ll regard it as an act of war. He has a small navy and they practice every Tuesday. Lmao once tried to invent a curved gun but gave up; he says he could shoot himself.
Mr. Davis is busy with newspaper editors so I am helping answer comments. I will also continue to narrate the posts. Mr. Davis apologizes for any inconvenience. Plucky thanked Deadpan for testing her new suntan lotion; Deadpan said it was no skin off his back.
Plucky told me that she and Lmao have been friends for over two thousand years. Yesterday Lmao asked Deadpan if he thought Plucky was attractive. Deadpan replied that he knew Plucky had been making some electromagnets. Last evening I saw Deadpan and Plucky walking along the pier. I had never seen them together on the pier at sunset so I figured they were looking for something.
Hello, I’m David Davis, the writer for Alien Resort comics. I want to thank Coy for narrating the posts and helping answer comments, and also a thank you to Captain Plucky–she’s the resort expert on drones, force fields, and everything else technical.
Coy says our readers want to know more about “Mr. Davis”. Well, normally, most of my time is spent writing Alien Resort comics and communicating with newspaper editors. Lately I’ve been working with Coy and Plucky keeping readers up to date on the plan by the Beacons of Night to launch a seaborne invasion of Alien Resort.
The rest of my time is spent making animated videos. A short video I completed in January, Blood Bank, is going to screen at a film festival in Texas later in May.
Other than that, we have two cats that jump in and out of my lap all day long. There isn’t much you can do about it except pet them until they get bored and finally jump down. Then it’s back to work. Deadpan has a robot that likes to cuddle cats; he says it has a soft spot for them.
It’s fixed now–If you click the play button and video doesn’t start, click “YouTube”–Coy (23 seconds long)