Breaking News

One of our editors tells us that someone painted graffiti on the wall of his newspaper’s office with the Beacons’ slogan “Earthlings Unite”. Deadpan says they probably used so much paint because they had a case of the blues.

Red Tape

We told the king that the government wants us to have id cards and work permits. He made us these really nice id cards. He said that if the government wants work permits then the government will have to come and talk to him. When he asked if we were engaged in commerce, Deadpan said it sounds like he means business.


The island that Alien Resort sits on is part of a kingdom. The king has a crown and a robe but he only uses them during ceremonies. He likes ceremonies because people hand him everything on a silver platter.

Government Inquiry

Our writer David Davis received a letter from the government asking if we had id cards and work permits. He says  the Beacons of Night want to cause us trouble because they say we’re stealing jobs from Earthlings. Lmao says let them hunt us down; he’s game.