News

Writer Faces Charges

We watched a news report today where they announced the charges against our writer David Davis: four counts of hiring illegal aliens. Bond was denied because Mr. Davis was arrested while boarding a plane and is considered a flight risk. The Beacons of Night claim that their tip to a friend in the prosecutor’s office led to the arrest. When Lmao was learning how to make spears he says he had to ask for tips.

Alien Resort Writer Arrested

I received a text message today from David Davis Jr. stating that his father, our writer David Davis, has been arrested. The arrest took place on the mainland just as Mr. Davis was about to take off on the first leg of his journey to Alien Resort island. I contacted Lanning Lee in Hawaii and told him that Mr. and Mrs. Davis won’t be arriving at the Honolulu airport. I’ll provide updates when I have more information. Deadpan enjoys time travel because it makes the day go by.

I Heard Some Kind of Animal

When you sit on the beach at Alien Resort island, you hear the eons-old rush of the waves meeting the shore. But tonight we’re in the middle of the island, gathered in front of Plucky’s spaceship, and that sound is very distant. The view of the sky here is as good as anywhere on Earth. Long ago we gave up hope of a quick rescue, and have made peace with living on this planet. All of us agree that there are worse places to be stranded. Lmao got lost on his planet and forest rescue couldn’t find him. He says he was up a creek.

Telepathy Lessons

Plucky is teaching Deadpan how to use telepathy. He says he isn’t getting it. Whenever Plucky speaks aloud, she talks about technical issues like radar and satellites. Deadpan says he isn’t receiving these kinds of messages telepathically. Instead all he hears is what he describes as mushy things. He says he’ll keep trying. Lmao says he once met someone in gyroscope school–they were soon going steady.

Three Years Ago: A Writer Answers Our Ad

After a few weeks had passed, we received a response to our “situations wanted” inquiry on Craigslist. A writer named David Davis wanted to make comics for newspapers but was having trouble developing characters. We sent him our bios and did a Skype; then he sent us some scripts. The arrangement has worked out better than anyone ever imagined. The four of us now have a workday we can look forward to, and Mr. Davis has been successful in getting our comics published in Earth newspapers. Lmao once bought a second-hand rover; it drove him up a wall.

Three Years Ago: Craigslist

With the advent of the internet, our lives at Alien Resort had improved dramatically. Gone were the days of sitting around with little to do and nights with nothing but far off radio stations to occupy our thoughts. And now, thanks to our wonderful landlord the king, we had regular supplies. But as everyone knows, having more doesn’t keep you from wanting more. And what we wanted most were additional ways to occupy our time. Consequently we published a “situations wanted” ad on Craigslist. Lmao once invented a new way to send a message; he says he shouted it from the highest mountain.

It’s Already Tomorrow

The kingdom that includes Alien Resort island is an archipelago. The kingdom’s closest neighbor is the Northern Mariana islands. These islands are seven hours from Hawaii and are located west of the international date line. The king will pick up our writer and his wife in the NMI capital Saipan. A Saipan travel office was going to arrange a fishing boat for the trip to Alien Resort but the king wouldn’t hear it. Deadpan once told the enemy he was going fishing; he says they took the bait.