The Beacons of Night wasted no time in claiming responsibility for the theft of our comics. But missing from their blog post is any mention of the cohort they left behind on Alien Resort island. We’re speculating whether leaving him was accidental and they’re planning to return to rescue him, or if they meant to leave him to create additional mischief. We’re engaging in these discussions at the same time that Deadpan, now the island police chief, is coordinating a hunt. Ground control once told Lmao that his spaceship was overloaded; he says they were talking trash.
We’re watching as Plucky plays back the footage from the island’s security cameras. A small boat comes ashore in a remote area and three humans set foot onto the beach, then disappear into the dunes. A few hours later, the camera reveals two humans reboarding, our comics in hand, and the boat setting sail. The look on everyone’s face turns to one of deep concern: An intruder is lurking on the island. I asked Deadpan if a one-inch footprint could be human, and he replied: “That’s one small step for a man.”
Our meeting to discuss the lost comics was scheduled for tonight but Plucky moved it up to noon. We logged into video conference, and Plucky began to speak immediately. She says that while reviewing security footage for clues on locating the missing comics, she made a stunning discovery: Two nights ago, a boat came ashore in a remote area of the island, and three humans disappeared through the dunes. As bad as that is, some of the follow-up footage is even scarier. Deadpan told me that he recently bought an acre of land that turned out to be quicksand. Then he added: “But the plot thickens.”
“Deadpan and I have an understanding,” Plucky began, as she put on a pot of water. “It’s not the world’s greatest romance, I’ll admit. We both give what we can.” I replied that I understood, and I really do. Deadpan has limited capacity for emotion, and Plucky has already explained how her father’s emotional distance left her in a vain quest for attachment. “We do what we can,” was all I could think to reply. Lmao went on a dating site; he says it crashed just as they were beginning to click.
I needed some distraction before the meeting so I got up early this morning to go fishing with Lmao. I headed over to Plucky’s spaceship where Lmao lives, and was surprised to see Deadpan coming out a side door. He seemed surprised to see me too; he murmured something about configuring modules then hurried away. A light came on from inside and Plucky opened the door. “Come on in,” she said. “You might as well know everything.” When I told Lmao that I would be at his door bright and early, he said, “Knock on wood.”
I can’t believe I misplaced a pile of comics. I know where I put them but now they’re gone. I feel like I let everyone down. This was a batch that we’ve been working on for the last two weeks. We were about to put them into final form and send them to editors. We’re going to have a meeting to figure out what to do next. Deadpan said that a black hole can even consume brain waves. Lmao replied: “Perish the thought.”
[this event was recorded prior to coronavirus–Coy] I just finished my introductory speech to our inaugural group of tourists. They sat in folding chairs at the pavilion as I recited the history of our landing here. Then we proceeded to the viewing area where Deadpan engaged their interest with an explanation of harmonic progression. The tourists appear entranced by whatever we say or do. They don’t even seem to mind as I type this post; instead they’re watching me with utter fascination.
A tourist asked Deadpan if he could calculate pi. Deadpan replied, “Do you want the short answer?”