I never dreamed that crashing my spaceship on a Pacific island would someday become the opening of a movie script. I’m proud to announce that my screenplay for the feature film Alien Resort is an official selection of the 2022 Standalone Film Festival, a Hollywood international film event. Deadpan wants to make his own movie about a spaceship; he says everyone gets to play a part.

I’m writing this as we celebrate with a pizza party in the conference room of Sage’s spaceship. We recently learned that the feature-length screenplay I wrote about us entitled Alien Resort has been named an official selection of the SoCal Film Awards. I told Lmao that if I become famous, I’m going to start coloring my hair. He said: “Don’t forget your roots.”

Captain Sage has finished renovating the Alien Resort museum and she wants you to come and take a look. Just click on the museum tab in the menu above. Captain Sage used to go by the nickname Plucky but she decided to begin using her formal name while I was writing the screenplay about us. I asked Deadpan what he knew about telegraphs, and he replied: “Everything: poles, wires, dot dot dot.”